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You might want wins, but I want tacos

Marcelo Duran | September 22, 2014

“The low point of this season’s taco craze was July offering up a paltry three days of Tacos. Coincidentally this was around the time when most fans pushed the eject button on the team. I know I did.”

Baseball season in Colorado is coming to a sweet, merciful end, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get something out of it before we slam the final nail in the coffin.

The 2014 Colorado Rockies, remembered as one of the worst squads in franchise history since its biggest stars were struck down with injury, nearly reached the 100 losses mark and has an ownership
group that cares more about bobblehead gnomes than running a professional baseball organization. Oh yeah and how can we forget about Tulowizkigate where the team’s star player showed up at a Yankees game while on the DL.

And with the Broncos regular season kicking into high gear, the only reason Denver cares about the Rockies box score is to see if the team scored enough runs for fans to cash in on tacos. Nevermind that the MLB’s most dysfunctional franchise won’t ever bring a pennant back to the Mile High City, we have more pressing priorities like fulfilling the dream of #WeWantTacos.

The uninitiated may not be aware such a deal existed, but if the Rockies score seven or more runs in a game, lucky fans can visit a participating Taco Bell the next day and get four regular tacos for $1 and the price of a small drink.

The season has been so pathetic that it’s become the battle cry for the ROOT Sports broadcast team boasting when the team reaches the magical score. And while the team might be riddled with injuries, guess what, we’re gonna get tacos the next day!

For Denverites, it was tacos aplenty in April with the Rockies reaching the magic seven-run number 10 times. But it went downhill after that with the team earning us taco privileges eight times in May and six in June. The low point of this season’s taco craze was July offering up a paltry three days of Tacos. Coincidentally this was around the time when most fans pushed the eject button on the team. I know I did.

The dog days of summer set in and #WeWantTacos days wilted down to five in August and so far six this month. Yesterday, the Rockies demolished the Arizona Diamondbacks 8-3 in the last home game of the season, so you can get your fill of tacos by visiting a participating Taco Bell between 4-6 p.m. today.

Can you imagine how many we’d see if Coors Field abandoned the humidor? It would bring Taco Bell franchises across the Denver Metro to the brink of bankruptcy. Who cares that the team had another disastrous season fueled by injury, incompetent front office leadership and owners who reply to
fans as if they are teenage girls. I just want my tacos.

Don’t worry if the Monforts toss vague threats of moving the team or that our high school varsity baseball coach is in it until the bitter end, we got crunch-shell treats dancing in our heads. Enjoy the tacos when you can, because that is the only taste of victory we’ll enjoy from the Rockies for years to come.

 

Written by Marcelo Duran

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