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Happy Fantasy Holidays

John Reidy | December 7, 2023

It is absolutely a travesty that here we are in week 14, one week until the fantasy football playoffs start, and we’ve got a bye week happening for some teams. It’s probably due to the extended schedule, but fake teams fighting for their lives shouldn’t have to contend with filling in the gaps of their rosters this late in the season. 

And speaking of filling in the gaps, and spackling cracks in fantasy teams, I’ve been fighting an uphill battle since week one. Settle in, you ARE going to hear about my fantasy team and you ARE going to care.

In the prestigious South Stands Denver Platinum league, five or my first eight picks have been either out for the season or for extended time. I went all in on JK Dobbins who by all rights should have had a great season and he didn’t last a full game. Justin Jefferson and Dionte Johnson went out early in the season, as did Pat Friermuth who just came back. Christian Kirk decided to peace out on my squad just the other night. 

And that was just in that league. 

How many people were thrilled to draft Garrett Wilson thinking Aaron Rodgers was going to be hucking him the ball all season? I lashed myself to that mainsail in a few leagues and it’s paid pitiful dividends all year. 

Maybe it’s just me. No matter who I picked up, there was always an injury. I know that’s part of the game, but should it be part of the game for all of my teams? Even in fantasy hockey where I generally do very well, I’ve had nothing but defenseman tearing pectoral muscles and star centers going on IR for weeks from mystery injuries we’re not privy to. I just lost my top goalie tonight for probably the season! It never fucking ends. 

Injuries are the major pitfall in fantasy sports. If you haven’t figured that out, you are probably the mark that everyone wants in their league. They happen all the time and if you are skilled enough, you should be able to weather the storm by drafting well and playing the waiver wire like you’re Yo-Yo Ma. But when the Injury Ninja (shout out Chris Wassel) pays you and only you a visit, it makes it very tough to compete. 

It’s disheartening because you can only think about what could have been with a healthy squad. And like most real loser teams, you have to look to next year which sucks out loud in any language. Still, as of this week, I’m still alive in a few of these leagues. Players are getting healthy and if I can just break the seal on a playoff berth, I may be able to cook up some wins when it counts. We’ll see. And if I can’t, I just laid out for you all of the reasons why this season has been hot garbage stuck to the bottom of a dumpster. 

Happy fantasy playoffs to all that celebrate. 

Written by John Reidy


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