We select the twenty wackiest names in the 2014 NFL draft
“Monikers get stranger and stranger with each passing season thanks to an increase in players from foreign lands and the evolving nature of urban names in America. It can be downright comical. “
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Fans of every NFL team get excited about the NFL draft for obvious reasons. The players their teams select each year become the building blocks that the franchises will be built on in the years to come. The future begins today for every pro football squad.
The future also begins today for the TV and radio announcers to must pronounce the names of the prospects selected in this year’s draft. Monikers get stranger and stranger with each passing season thanks to an increase in players from foreign lands and the evolving nature of urban names in America. It can be downright comical.
With that in mind we have ranked the twenty wackiest names among the top 200 NFL draft prospects for 2014 and broken down what makes these names contenders.
20) Jackson Jeffcoat
Alliteration is always awesome in a wacky NFL player name and two last names always beat two first names. That’s why Jackson Jeffcoat makes this list.
19) Martavis Bryant
Give mom credit for originality here. Martavis is a classic urban name, basically pulled completely from thin air. Points deducted for the surname “Bryant”. It’s a bit basic.
18) Denicos Allen
There’s not much fun about the last name “Allen” but Denicos is pure NFL gold.
17) Jace Amaro
This is a great wacky name for the simple reason that folks will think the announcers are sating “Jay Samarko”
16) Ego Ferguson
Ego’s not his middle name. It’s his first name.
15) RaShede Hageman
Forget Rashead or Rasheed, Hageman’s mom wanted to confuse the shit out of RaShede’s teachers.
14) Bashaud Breeland
This name has it all. It’s not a name at all to begin with and it has alliteration which makes it fun to say. “Bashaud Breeland”. See?
13) Marqueston Huff
This name features a long, overly complex first name followed by a guttural single-syllable last name. Pretty cool.
12) JaWuan James
JaWuan sounds like a noise Michael Jackson would make. Add alliteration with the last name “James” as in “James Brown” and you have a name with soul.
A real honest-to-goodness French name that the TV guys are bound to mispronounce. Plus it has the word “tard” in it which is fun.
10) Dezmen Southward
Desmond? Nah. Not for this guy’s parents. They went invent-a-name and dropped in a “Z” which is almost as cool as an apostrophe.
Could be a super hero. Could be a spy. Could be a cop. Could be a 2014 NFL draft prospect.
LaDainian was already taken so Mr. Washington’s mom swapped the “N” for an “M” and tacked in an apostrophe. Nicely done, Mrs. Washington.
This is probably a girl’s name but I dare you to tell him that.
Adding “trel” to the end of a common name is a trick urban moms learned long ago. Right, Dontrel? Points deducted for not going “trelle” here.
NFL draft prospect or Nigerian money order e-mail scammer? You decide.
Louchiez scores in several areas. It’s French-y sounding, hard to pronounce, overly long and it has a “Z” in it. The only thing that could make this name better is an apostrophe.
Here mom added “Ha” to “sean” which is great, but not as great as a last name that references both Bill Clinton and penises.
He may well be the first overall pick in the draft but Jadeveon Clowny came in second on our list. It’s a great NFL name. It starts with “Ja”, it’s a total fabrication and the last name “Clowney” is, well, clowney.
Our top name in the 2014 NFL draft includes alliteration like many in the top twenty. It also incorporates a “Z” which is always strong combined with a “Q” for extra credit. Also, the name starts with the word “dark” and he’s black. That’s bound to make NFL announcers uncomfortable which is just good fun.
