“When it comes to local sport talk radio, some commercials are more difficult than others to swallow”
In media advertisers pay the bills; therefore it’s advertisers that make media possible. There are exceptions, such as outlets that are entirely subscriber supported. But for the most part we digest marketing as a side dish to the information and entertainment we consume. That’s why we can open a newspaper or a magazine, flip on the television or tune in our favorite radio station virtually for free.
When it comes to local sport talk radio, some commercials are more difficult than others to swallow. I happen to listen to a lot of sports talk on 104.3 the fan where shows go to commercial about every ten minutes.
During those commercial breaks I hear the same advertisements over and over again, day after day, hour after hour. Some of these are national ads, but a good number of them are local ones – not as slickly produced and often hard to listen to. Some are downright obnoxious.
These are the five most obnoxious recurring advertisers I hear daily on the Fan:
Bruce and Steve Williams, the Williams Brothers, for Williams’ Jewelers
As the jingle goes “At Williams’ Jewelers we can make diamonds a part of your life.” Yes, Bruce and Steve Williams’ certainly can sell you a diamond at either of their two Colorado locations, in Cherry Creek North or in Englewood at the Belleview shopping center, but they can also make you insane with their repetitive commercials.
These are the guys that helped Eric Decker “put a ring on it” and then, after Decker was traded to New York, enlisted Wes Welker to mumble his way through their ads. Those Broncos receivers were hard to listen to but not as hard as Bruce and Steve themselves. These two sound like two adults who never moved out of their mother’s house yet they seem to consider themselves to be minor celebrities – and why shouldn’t they? They bought themselves the privilege.
Tom Shane, Shane Company
Staying along the jewelry vein, I come to another of the advertisers I hate most to hear – none other than Tom Shane – who has been making my ears hurt for what seems like my entire life.
I have a friend in the jewelry business, but I wish he would get on a plane to Antwerp and never come back. Shane is a national act but is famous locally for his location “just off Arapahoe road on Emporia Street a half mile East of I-25” where he can make sure that your girlfriend’s tennis bracelet is “really on trend” and that you don’t pay too much for a “designer” ring even though he has thousands of designer styles to choose from. Tom Shane talks about women like they’re not in the room and makes men feel like idiots daily.
David Shamansky, US Mortgages
“Just pick up the phone. If you don’t call you won’t save” with David Shamansky, the metro area’s second lamest mortgage broker. Shamansky’s nasally “hello Colorado” opens every one of his obnoxious commercials which you’ll hear in your sleep if you’re not careful. On television he encourages consumers to refinance their homes so that they can afford a “game party” for all of their friends while on the radio he repeats the phrase “drum roll, please” often enough that I want to beat on him with sticks. I wish the Fan would foreclose on Shamansky’s schtick but I fear that it’s like credit default swaps – it will never truly go away.
Cordell and Cordell
Cordell and Cordell is “a partner men can count on” assuming their wives are ready to bail on them for spending too much time watching sports. The legal firm has commercials in heavy rotation on the Fan. It claims to be “a domestic litigation firm with a focus on mens’ divorce and child custody.”
Their commercials often offer handy tips like “change your password” and “video tape your belongings” just in case maybe you weren’t already paranoid enough. Because what could be more pleasant than contemplating the break up of your family during every commercial break on the sports radio station?
Brent Ivinson, Ideal Home Loans
The advertiser on 104.3 the Fan who annoys me more that even the four I have already mentioned is mortgage broker Brent Invinson from ideal home loans who isn’t content just to record and run a spot. This guy needs to be interviewed live by various hosts every day. Talents like Vic Lombardi, Sandy Clough and now Mark Schlereth are forced to trump up stupid mortgage questions to ask him every weekday. The conversations go like this: “Brent, what’s happening with mortgage rates today?” Then followed by unbearable answers like, “Well, Mark, right now we have a rate of 3.35% with an APR of 3.48% based on a credit score of 740.” Of course, that had to end with the proverbial, “Wow, Brent. That’s amazing. So, Brent, who should call Ideal Home Loans today?”
It’s the most obnoxious routine in all of radio.