Seven Things That Suck About … New Orleans
Welcome to our brand new feature – Seven Things That Suck about …
Denver Sports fans have got it made. We’re lucky to live in Colorado. Win or lose, there’s no place better. That’s why it’s easy to find Seven Things That Suck about just about every other place. Why seven? It’s our lucky number. Elway’s number.
Once a week we will elevate our already mile-high civic pride by picking on some other city.
This week’s victim is New Orleans, the Big Easy, the Crescent City, ‘Nawlins, NOLA…
Corruption
A number of cities are known for their crooked governments and on-the-take cops. Chicago comes to mind. But no place rivals New Orleans when it comes to shiftiness. From the Mayors office to the courts to the cops, in New Orleans if you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’.
Crime
Hurricane Katrina brought out the best in people – and the worst. For every heart-warming story of a community pulling together in tough times there was another about looting, shooting, robbing, stealing, murdering. Crime continues to be a pox on the city so severe that most people will only be in New Orleans long enough to visit.
Cockroaches
New Orleans was a swamp long before it was a city. The heat, the moisture, the mold and the filth make it an uncomfortable place for humans at times, but these creepy, crawly critters could not be more at home.
Intense racism
“Everyone’s a racist. It’s part of what we have in this country, but it’s deeper, more viral, more visible and more entrenched in New Orleans than any place I’ve ever seen” – former “recovery czar” Ed Blakely.
New Orleans is home to intensely racist feelings among whites and blacks alike. A racial divide runs through it like no other city in America.
The Hornets
The “New Orleans” Hornets moved from Charlotte back in 2002. The team relocated to Oklahoma City temporarily in the wake of Katrina. The reception they received from the fans there is part of the reason that the NBA allowed the Seattle Sonics to be moved there. Meanwhile, the league took over ownership the team temporarily before selling it off the owner of the Saints, Tom Benson. Benson may or may not keep the Hornets in New Orleans. Some speculate that he will return them to Charlotte. If they stay they should get their rightful name back from Utah.
Nasty Hookers
Prostitution is nothing out of the ordinary for a major tourist destination. New Orleans, though, is a place where people go to misbehave – kind of like Las Vegas but grosser. The hookers are grosser, too. They’re not everywhere in the city, but you don’t have to wander far to see them working the streets and area motels.
John Goodman
The chubby former star is from NOLA, not like you didn’t know that. The guy wears in on his sleeve. Like his character in the HBO series Treme, Goodman plays the role of self-righteous activist New Orleanian in real life.
