How ’bout them Avalanche? No, really. How ’bout them because I don’t care anymore

“The Colorado Avalanche’s season is but a dot on the horizon at this point, but the memory of how it ended still stings like Charlie Sheen’s urethra after a lost weekend in Cabo San Lucas.”

Can you imagine soaking up some playoff hockey right now? I can. But for those of us who follow the Colorado Avalanche, we have to live vicariously through teams we don’t care about and players who used to don the sweater of our hometown team. The Colorado Avalanche’s season is but a dot on the horizon at this point, but the memory of how it ended still stings like Charlie Sheen’s urethra after a lost weekend in Cabo San Lucas.

After Chris Stewart scored a couple of goals in the Blues game tonight, it hit me in the gut as I finally realized: The Avs are terrible and ownership isn’t doing anything to make them better. So instead of Gabriel Landeskog scoring playoff goals, we have to watch Stewart do it while the Avs scatter to the four corners – abandoning their quest for Lord Stanley’s cup over a month ago.

The Avs season ended with a whimper and that’s pretty much what you heard from fans of the team. Having the passion for hockey in Colorado beaten out of you for the last couple of seasons will do that to you. But don’t worry, Josh Kroenke will continue to NOT throw money at the problem and will lean on his stable of supposedly young and talented players – who, outside of Landeskog and O’Reilly, don’t seem all that talented anymore. They’ve also stuck with a coach who can’t seem to get much out of that supposed talent while they continue to tune him out like he was an AM radio. The once proud and perennial playoff contender Avalanche have mercifully slid further out of the Colorado sports fan’s rear view like an ex-girlfriend you finally got to stop calling.

You should be mad with the way it ended this year. This season was an embarrassment and everyone involved with the team should chalk this up as one of the most disappointing seasons since the team arrived in 1996. And you should be embarrassed if you spent any money, time or energy toward the product they dared trot out onto the ice night after night.

It’s depressing really. Even when you think the Broncos will be bad, there’s still some excitement going into the season. Hell, the Rockies are obviously mediocre yet fans pack the stadium and hold out hope that they go on a miracle run. The Avs? No one cares anymore because they’ve become 2002 Denver Nuggets: a chronic loser with no way out of their deep, dark hole. The only difference is there’s no Carmelo Anthony coming to save the Avs and sell tickets.

I didn’t expect the Avs to win the Stanley Cup this year, but based on the line I swallowed about how the current group of players was going to be good, I at least expected a playoff appearance. But if this is the team that’s going to be taking them to the top, I’m pretty sure by “top” you mean a port-a-potty in a vacant lot in Aurora.

Can you imagine soaking up some playoff hockey right now? I can. It’s just too bad the only playoff hockey we’ll be enjoying around here for a long time won’t involve the Avalanche. 

Written by John Reidy