A Colorado Rockies eulogy
“Rockies fans will never get rid of the Monforts. They are the remoras sticking close to the shark picking off the crumbs till the end of time.”
It is with a heavy heart that we gather here today to throw dirt on the casket of yet another Rockies season. And like most years at 20th and Blake, we shed our tears, put away childish things (Rockies hats) and wait for the rebirth that comes every spring. But now dearly beloved, that spring may never come.
You can kiss any chance of the Rockies ever contending good bye and lower that coffin into the ground for good because there’s no way in hell the Rockies will ever get a sniff of success because upper management of the team is just too ignorant to get it right. Oh they’re good at selling tickets, but after a while, the reasons people still come to the ballpark will wear thin and people will simply stop showing up. And conveniently enough, if there’s no one there to boo a loss to the Marlins, did it even really happen?
The Monforts are not brilliant baseball minds. And the only evidence you need of this is how long Dan O’Dowd has outworn his welcome as general manager of the team. O’Dowd has had every opportunity to seize even the slightest momentum the teams has created and craft a contender, but has failed to do so. Miserably. If he, and his clueless minion Bill Geivett, aren’t removed completely from the equation soon, you can expect another 20 years of futility.
People love baseball. So I would never blame the fans for spending their hard earned moola to go down to lovely Coors Field on a summer night to take in a game because it’s entertainment first and foremost. But fans want to believe in something and there’s nothing wrong with investing some time and money to see if maybe this would be the year – after 20 – that the Rockies could get a whiff of winning the division.
And the Monforts know this. That’s why they keep players like Todd Helton around. Yes, Helton still gives the fans something to cheer about, but it’s so few and far between, his contributions have no real impact on long term success of the team. But yet the Monforts know that as long as fans have Helton to look forward to, they will sell tickets. The same can be said for Troy Tulowitzki and Carlos Gonzalez. Fans and pundits alike were stunned when they signed these two to mammoth contracts. “Maybe the Monforts are going to start spending some money!” we all thought. No, they just realized that locking up two superstars of the future would be a wise investment. And it’s paid off.
Where most teams that have gone in the crapper will sell off some pieces in an attempt to rebuild, the Rockies stubbornly hang on to theirs knowing that while keeping them won’t result in any more wins, it will keep selling tickets, Dippin’ Dots and beer. It’s actually the only smart thing this organization has come up with in 20 years, but there will come a time when the combination of horrendous baseball and the eventual loss of these go-nowhere-superstars will come back to haunt the Monforts. There is a roster in place to keep fans coming back for a few more years, but once that bit of luck runs out, you’ll see the fans start to abandon the team en masse.
And that’s why it’s such a shame the Rockies won’t capitalize on having some decent players right now. It’s easy to say from my dining room that I know what the Rockies should do, but it’s plain to see they have completely botched a runaway train of momentum they built up since the 2007 World Series appearance. Everyone can see it. And the fact the Monforts and Dan O’Dowd can’t is sad beyond description.
So while it may be nice to know Todd, Tulo and Cargo will be there – giving the fans the illusion that there is an All-Star roster in place – there is absolutely no hope of this team ever contending because ownership rests on these laurels (and a big pile of money), never daring to upset their concrete bottom line. The Monforts are like a lazy government worker, so caught up in maintaining their cushy job, they’ve lost any interest in improving their station in life. Opting for a constant paycheck, easy hours and the reptilian ability to not care.
The people who own and run the St. Louis Cardinals, the Boston Red Sox and the San Francisco Giants don’t think this way. And that’s why they win championships. Rockies fans will never get rid of the Monforts. They are the remoras sticking close to the shark picking off the crumbs till the end of time. But until they wake up and get some actual intelligent baseball people to run their club, you can throw another shovel full on the Rockies casket because this team is six feet under and the dirt is piling up fast.
