A Broncos fan guide to hating Philip Rivers
The Chargers are coming to town. That means that we will all be forced to on Sunday watch a sneering Philip Rivers stalking the sidelines right here in the Mile High City. Just in case you don’t quite understand why Rivers is the one man Broncos Country loves most to hate we present this primer
Read more …
Why do we love? Why do we hate? Why do we love to hate Philip Rivers?
By every measure of a man Rivers is what you would want him to be. He’s a good family fellow. Rivers married his high school sweetheart Tiffany and has pumped her full of enough of his good semen to sire seven children by her. He’s active in his community and in his church and has, through the Rivers of Hope Foundation, helped thousands of orphaned children find a peaceful place to rest their heads.
He’s a heck of a player, too. Rivers is a fiery leader respected by his teammates and admired by his coaches. His career passer rating (96) is the fourth best in NFL history. He has captained his Chargers to nearly twice as many wins as he has losses and he has represented them in the Pro Bowl five times.
But there’s just something about Philip Rivers. He is the guy Broncos fans love most to hate. And the fans have their reasons. Let’s revisit these:
The Chargers kicked Drew Brees to the curb for him
Sure, Drew Brees quarterbacked for a division rival so he was never the mpst popular guy in Colorado, either. But he was likeable as the gun slinger for the Chargers. And Brees had that loveable moley thing on his face. It was brutal the way he was shoved aside to make room for a young Rivers after the 2005 season.
He’s such a goodie two shoes
He’s a perfect Catholic. He saved himself for marriage. He only puts his faith in front of his family and both mean more to him than football. Philip Rivers walks the walk and talks the talk in terms of living his life the right way – the way the bible says to. In other words he’s a total goody two-shoes and that’s reason enough that everybody should friggin’ hate him.
He throws like a girl
Ever since college Philip Rivers has found success throwing like a girl. His bizarre side-armed throwing motion is one of the weakest looking of any pro QB ever. He even sometimes sort of hops like a little bunny while he’s doing it. Painful to watch.
He constantly wines to officials
Nobody complains to officials quite the way Philip Rivers does. He should be penalized for it more often than he is – even thrown out of games. When things don’t go his way he will get right up the referee’s faces. He’ll point at them and shout and spit and carry on like a total jackass.
He talks trash
It’s ironic that Denver fans still hate Rivers as much as they do when it was his talking smack to Jay Cutler that originally got our backs up. It was back in 2007 toward the end of a game in which the Chargers were blowing the Broncos out when Rivers cajoled the former Denver QB from the sidelines. His team mates waved at Cutler derisively. The scene looked like one from a high school game. Rivers has talked plenty of smack since, too. And when he does it he looks like the kid of school yard bully that we all hated growing up – only worse. Rivers is a golden-boy “can do no wrong” type who acts the fool when the teachers aren’t looking.
That obnoxious smirk on his face
Philip Rivers looks like dick when he’s angry and he looks like a dick when he’s mad. His face either has a puss on it or he’s grinning obnoxiously. He’s got the most punchable mug in NFL history.
That stupid tie
The Philip Rivers bolo tie debuted this season and it’s the latest reason to hate that shithead. Bolo ties never went out of style because they never were in style. Unless you’re some kind of rancher you don’t have any business sporting one of these – yet Rivers seems to have no problem with it. He has shown up in these goofy ties post-game for most of the latter half of the season including after the Chargers’ win at Denver a month ago.
