Dear Peyton: another open letter to Manning
Yesterday the Denver Post published an open letter to Peyton Manning which has gone viral. It was written Laurie Lattimore-Volkmann whom the paper described as “a journalism professor, blogger, mom, and a Broncos fan” living in Charleston, SC. In it she waxes poetic about the quarterback’s dedication, preparedness and legacy.
Reading it in the wake of Sunday’s Super Bowl had me grinding my teeth. That’s why I decided to offer up an open letter of my own to Peyton.
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Dear Peyton,
Hey, bud. Sorry about the ass-whooping you took in the big game. You must feel pretty awful. Hopefully a few days at Pebble Beach consorting with the enemy helped you forget about that nightmare for awhile.
Is it true that you weren’t embarrassed, or was that just something you said?
I was embarrassed, that’s for sure. I talked mad smack about how awesome you were for two weeks leading up to the game – said Seattle had no shot. Oops.
You didn’t even get the first snap off before you and your team started imploding. What a mess. Those Seattle fans sure are loud, aren’t they. Shocker. I mean who could have possibly known that? It’s not like they OWN THE WORLD RECORD FOR THE LOUDEST STADIUM or anything. Turns out a bunch of them bastards found their way to New Jersey. Whatcha gunna do?
It must drive you crazy knowing that Seattle figured out that you telegraph your passes. They didn’t just seem to know where those ducks were going to fly – they actually knew. Bummer. But, hey, at least they only picked you twice, right. Coulda been worse.
I wouldn’t worry too much about the legacy, big fellah. That puppy is pretty well on ice. Not much you can do about that but take another swing next year. So what if you almost always lose the big ones, you took down that chump Grossman, didn’t you – got that monkey off your back. So what does one more crushing defeat matter?
It’s not like you play for the Colts anymore, anyway. It’s just Denver. As long as those checks clear it’s all good. We fans should be happy, anyway. You gave them us those sweet records to tell our kids about. Anybody can win a Super Bowl, only you can throw all those sweet touchdowns. History, baby!
Maybe you sense my sarcasm.
I’m sorry, Peyton. I don’t mean to be a jerk. It’s just that that really stung. I mean you guys didn’t even show up. I know it’s not all your fault but you are the one making eleventy billion dollars a season to be the fearless leader of the Denver Broncos.
Everyone talks about your intense preparation –so what happened? You didn’t look ready to play the Seahawks at all. Did you OVER prepare? Were you nervous? Were the Seahawks just that much better than you guys?
Hey, I hope you get it done next year. Thanks for picking Denver. I just hope you appreciate the fact that Elway built a team around you so that you could go out there and rack up those Star Wars numbers.
See you next year.
Your friend, Colin.
