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Here’s your stupid Super Bowl prediction

Colin D. | February 1, 2014

The Seahawks will scare us all half to death. Those bastards are going to hang around.”

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 Welcome. I am pleased to present the billionth Super Bowl prediction you have heard this week. Congratulations for stumbling onto it. Obviously, by Sunday night every pontification will have been mental masturbation but that’s not stopping anybody. Why let it stop me?

I have been writing these stupid prediction pieces all season long. I think that I have done a pretty good job for the most part. Some weeks I even hit the score right on the head. Other weeks I have been way the hell off. That is the nature of prognosticating. It’s also the beauty of football. They say there’s a reason the ball isn’t perfectly round. It was meant to bounce funny.

For Seattle to win the Super Bowl the ball would need to bounce real funny. They’re just not as good as the Denver Broncos. The Seahawks cannot beat Denver on their own. They would need some help along the way from the Broncos – help in the form of mistakes, specifically turnovers. Denver broncos would have to fumble the Super Bowl away.

I don’t think that they are going to do that.

All week the Broncos have carried themselves as a confident, well prepared team. I’m buying it, too. All indications are that they are locked in and ready to win one more game in order to fly home Champions.

The Seahawks are just glad to be there. That’s the vibe I‘m getting, anyway. They beat San Francisco in front of their twelfth man and got to act like idiots on TV. Good enough. There’s always next year for that young team. They’ll go deep in the playoffs again. I like their QB. Seems like a great fellah. I just wish he didn’t play for that sleazebag Pete Carroll.  The Seahawks are a young team and a braggadocios one. They’re cast in the image of their coach. I don‘t dig it.

Pete Carroll absolutely set fire to the USC football program on his way out the door with a slew of recruiting violations and landed comfortably in the Pacific Northwest. Screw that guy. He does not deserve to win a Lombardi Trophy.
Peyton Manning deserves to win a Lombardi Trophy.

I had been hot and cold when it came to number 18. When he was a Colt I swore he was the best of his generation of QBs. When he became I Bronco I got suspicious. I kind of thought that maybe the Broncos were buying high on him when they should be buying low. All those neck surgeries and all. I also felt like he would always be a Colt. I still feel that way to a degree.

A win on Sunday would make it awful hard not to embrace Manning as a Bronco for life.
The Broncos are going to win, baby. I am as sure of it as I am that my children came from my very loins – for what that’s worth. I believe that Denver will pop out to an early lead and that Seattle won’t ever quite catch up.

The Seahawks will scare us all half to death. Those bastards are going to hang around. Denver is going to turn the ball over. Probably twice. Otherwise this puppy would be a blowout. I see the Seahawks (sea what I did there?) pulling into within shooting distance late in this one and Matt Prater pushing the Broncos to a six-point lead.

That’s less than a touchdown and an extra point.

Remember how everyone talked all week about Seattle’s defense? Well guess what? Denver’s defense will write the final scene in this Super Bowl. Up six with under two minutes left the Broncos will kick it the ball away to Seattle needing one last stop. And they’ll get it. But not before Wilson drives his team almost all the way down the field.

A field goal will do Seattle no good. On their final drive they’ll be in “four down territory” the entire way. They’ll even convert one. It won’t be easy to watch. I will be in Twitter jail for sure.

Finally, on the last offensive play of the game, Wilson will chuck one into the end zone in a desperate attempt to steal the win. Just like in ’98 the Broncos defense will get the stop. One spectacular stop.

Peyton Manning’s final play call will be into the “victory formation”. Hut, hut, hike. Take a knee. Take a knee again. Watch the clock expire. You can stand up and salute in Denver.

Seattle is going to drive us crazy. They’re not going quietly into the night. Broncos win 34-28. 

 

Written by Colin D.





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