Electric underwear is the cure to what ails Peyton Manning
“The guy the Broncos have hitched their wagon to can’t play when it’s cold outside. And guess what? It’s cold outside during the playoffs. Manning’s struggles in frigid temps are plenty well documented. So how can the Broncos count on their twenty-million dollar man when it matters most? The answer is shockingly simple“
Read More …
The Denver Broncos’s best hope of winning a championship any time in the next decade is Peyton Manning. Once his stint here is over it’s anybody’s guess who will be next to lead the team so, by golly, they had better get that trophy while they can.
There’s just one problem.
The guy the Broncos have hitched their wagon to can’t play when it’s cold outside. And guess what? It’s cold outside during the playoffs. Manning’s struggles in frigid temps are plenty well documented. So how can the Broncos count on their twenty-million dollar man when it matters most? The answer is shockingly simple: electric underwear.
Snowmobilers and motorcyclists who brave Colorado’s blustery winters have long turned to both battery powered and rechargeable forms of electric underthings to keep their bodies toasty. Why wouldn’t these same garments help keep Peyton at his best when conditions are crummy?
Any number of manufacturers offer heated undergarments and with today’s technology these items are no more bulky or intrusive than traditional thermal underthings. Unlike the garments of yesteryear, today’s heated apparel is made from tiny electric thread rather than having bulky wires attached. Powered by lightweight rechargeable lithium ion battery packs, these garments are available in a range of fabrics, some as thing as lycra spandex.
I have poured through an official NFL document describing uniform regulations and I cannot find any specific language that would restrict the Broncos from dressing their star QB in heated underwear. The following section deals specifically with garments allowed to be worn under jerseys:
Garments Under Jerseys
(j) Quarterbacks will be allowed to wear under the game
jersey a solid-color T-shirt, turtleneck, or sweatshirt (consistent with team undergarment color) with sleeves cut to any length, as long as both sleeves are evenly trimmed and the edges are sewn and hemmed. All other players may wear garments under game jerseys only if the undergarment sleeves either (a) do not extend below the sleeves of the jersey; or (b) are full length to the wrist. No other sleeve lengths for garments under jerseys are permitted for players other than quarterbacks. Players may not wear long-sleeved undergarments that include pebble-grip sleeves. Any garments under jerseys that are exposed at the neck or sleeve area and that carry an exposed logo or commercial name must be licensed by and approved by the League office for wear on the field (see Article 7). All members of the same team who wear approved undergarments with exposed necks or sleeves must wear the same color on a given day, which color must be white or a solid color that is an official team color (solid means that sleeves must not carry stripes, designs, or team names)
It seems to me as though these regulations specifically address player appearance and not player comfort. The only factor I can think of that could possible be objectionable based on NFL guidelines would be the power source. These, however, can be very easily hidden beneath football padding and cause no risk of harm either to the quarterback or to his would be tacklers.
A German firm called WarmX Warming Textiles offers the best solutions based on the research I have done. They produce a full heated body suit that fits tightly enough to go unnoticed under a football uniform and is powered by a very small very hidden battery pack which is rechargeable via USB.
The Broncos would be well advised to beg forgiveness rather than ask permission for Manning to suit up in heated threads. Heaven only knows what kind of language the league might come up with forbidding it. But the rules do not seem to expressly disallow it. Imagine how much better Peyton would feel trotting out onto the frozen tundra and Mile High knowing that no matter how chilly it gets he will be as toasty warm as the fans at home watching on TV within feet of a crackling fire.
