Blocked! A journey into the heart of darnkess that is Root Sports
“I guess I should be thrilled they blocked me since I didn’t follow them in the first place, so it’s a backhanded honor just to be recognized. A backhanded honor I’ll see on my wall through tear filled eyes.”
I’ve been blocked by the Root Sports Rocky Mountain twitter feed. Maybe it’s because my no-holds barred Rockies analysis was too much for them, but more than likely it’s because of the many thought provoking questions I sent in to its #FanFriday segment they host every week during the game. I guess I should be thrilled they blocked me since I didn’t follow them in the first place, so it’s a backhanded honor just to be recognized. A backhanded honor I’ll see on my wall through tear filled eyes.
To be fair, I kept it relatively clean. Trust me, there were many dark alleys my mind was going down as I thought up the questions answered unflinchingly by the lovely Jenny Cavnar, but I tried to keep it civil, funny and something even the most humorless sports television executive would get a chuckle out of.
Last Friday, I asked them a host of silly, somewhat nonsensical questions I figured the guys and gals at Root Sports would get a kick out of, like if they had seen my insulin (I don’t take insulin…that’s the joke!). But mainly I just took a bunch of Apocalypse Now quotes and made them about Dinger. But I guess they didn’t get my clever attempts at humor and they blocked me. Message sent! But were they really tweets that would get someone blocked?
Here’s one I sent in to #ToyotaTalk:
I have a Tacoma and I’m not sure how to get the spare off. Any suggestions? #ToyotaTalk
Harmless enough right? Here are some more:
I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That’s my dream. That’s my nightmare. #FanFriday@ROOTSPORTS_RM
Suddenly Dinger will grab you, and he’ll throw you in a corner, and he’ll say “Do you know that ‘if’ is the middle word in life? #FanFriday
What are they gonna say about Dinger? He was a kind man? He was a wise man? He had plans? He had wisdom? Bull(crap), man! #FanFriday
If Dinger fell in a tar pit and became a museum exhibit. No question, just spitballing here. #FanFriday@rootsports_rm
It would be assuring to know the Club Level was closed to Juggalos. Help me sleep at night. @ROOTSPORTS_RM#FanFriday#ToyotaTalk
Ok, so maybe these were a bit much:
Does the TV booth smell like farts and beef water after those two get done eating all that food? #FanFriday@rootsports_rm
If the Rockies score 7 runs, and I eat 7 tacos, will you pay for the colonoscopy? #FanFriday@rootsports_rm
You didn’t answer my question about the bowel obstruction from the tacos earlier. I’ll wait. #FanFriday@ROOTSPORTS_RM#ToyotaTalk
But still, we’re just having a little fun here. And you wouldn’t really be able to read my tweets as they scroll by Jenny’s left shoulder anyway, so was it really necessary to block me? I’m thinking this combined with my declaration that the Root Sports TV broadcast are by far the most homerish in Denver sports may have contributed but we may never know. I will still participate in #FanFriday despite Root Sports insistence on taking the ball out of my glove but I wish they could realize that the world, and baseball, could use a few laughs.
