Trollin, trollin, trollin, Mile High Sports keeps them page views a comin’
“The problem is Knudson can only take an absurd stance only so often before people become suspicious. They will have to milk what they can from this latest topic and wait for more. Here’s some: “Hitler had some good ideas” or maybe an “AIDS is a punishment from God” column? The sky’s the limit guys! And those are ideas you can repurpose without crediting me.”
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INTERIOR – MILE HIGH SPORT OFFICES – DAY
(Several people comprising the Mile High Sports Staff sit around a conference room table talking to ex-major leaguer Mark Knudson.)
Mile High Sports Staff
So Mark, your column on gays shutting the hell up really tested through the roof but the ones that came after it didn’t do so hot.
Mark Knudson
Yeah, I know. The last three got no comments whatsoever. I’m trying to come up with something controversial, but it’s so hard when you have no original ideas.
Mile High Sports Staff
Well we got you covered. You know how soccer fans feel marginalized and generally ignored by the major sports media in this town?
Mark Knudson
Soccer is gay!
Mile High Sports Staff
And do you know how they flood a website with comments at even the smallest slight, no matter how idiotic?
Mark Knudson
You know I do.
Mile High Sports Staff
Well settle back and get ready for a whole new “hit” storm buddy, because we have a great idea for you ….
(fade to black as we hear maniacal laughing and clearly audible glad handing)
End Scene
I’m sure this isn’t exactly how it went down as former major league pitcher, turned scandal sheet hack, Mark Knudson was getting ready to fire off his latest column for the Mile High Sports website. But based on some of the tabloid level pap coming out of their offices lately, it could be close. You can agree or disagree with Knudson on the role of gay athletes or whether they should install a 50 foot high shot clock at Old Trafford, but it’s become clear that the sole intent of publishing his drivel is to aggravate people into clicking, forwarding and discussing – simply because it worked once already.
Congrats to Mile High Sports for discovering the secret formula for amassing page views: Lay a thick turd onto an Ipad and use it to fling it at a wall hoping it sticks. And when it does stick, kick back and watch the web traffic because it will be glorious. It’s a classic ploy to say the most outrageous thing that you have no intention of actually defending because no matter how much grief you get for it, they can’t take away those page views. We all want provocative writing and discussion when it comes to sports because otherwise it would be boring and lifeless. But at what point to does obvious trolling become problematic for a news outfit like Mile High Sports?
Knudson wrote a column for the Mile High Sports website where he clumsily suggested changes to the game of soccer to make it more appealing to American audiences. It’s a fair idea, and one I’ve actually thought about, but because of Knudson’s track record, this one stunk from the very beginning. Knudson wrote a rather ham-fisted piece a few weeks back about gays in sports and how they should just shut the hell up instead of upsetting the delicate psyches of athletes who can’t fathom another man looking at their wee-wees. It was typical jock bullshit that didn’t inspire debate in so much that it lit up the MHS comments page with seething digital outrage. And if you Google Mark Knudson, it’s one fat page of stories referencing that article. It was a homerun for MHS and they probably couldn’t wait for Knudson to wield his mighty pen of ignorance on the next obvious topic.
His next several columns? Nothing. Not a single comment. So what do you do when you’re in a slump? You look for a slump buster. And soccer was that slump buster because soccer fans are notoriously prickly any time their sport is marginalized by the brazen, American media that hates their sport. Offering some unrealistic options to make soccer better is nothing new, but for this columnist to do it reeked of sensationalism. Most people reading it didn’t know of Knudson’s track record of faux controversy, so they were sucked into his black hole of lame without knowing they had been duped. Because a piece like this, in the hands of someone whose only angle is to be controversial, comes off as desperate and bottom feeding. Skip Bayless thinks it’s a little over the top.
Sensationalist yes, but don’t dare call it trolling. While defending his trolling columnist all day on Twitter, MHS President James Merilatt had this to say: “Accusing others of trolling is the newest form of trolling.” Very convienient for Mr. Merilatt. This is the equivalent of losing an argument and yelling “well…well…you’re fat!” You got caught trolling James. Just admit it. Or you could spend another day on Twitter defending a hack. Either way, we all know the truth.
But don’t feel bad for Mr. Merilatt. He’s sitting in his office right now laughing his balls off at the reaction Knudson’s latest has received. Counting the hits and calculating how it will help ad sales. The problem is Knudson can only take an absurd stance only so often before people become suspicious. They will have to milk what they can from this latest topic and wait for more. Here’s some: “Hitler had some good ideas” or maybe an “AIDS is a punishment from God” column? The sky’s the limit guys! And those are ideas you can repurpose without crediting me.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion but when your track record is as sullied as Mr. Knudson’s, you have to take everything he says with a pillar of salt. Or just not read it at all. And Mile High Sports can pretend it’s just furthering the debate, but when that debate is clearly being held under a bridge, no one should want to participate.
