Monday Mommy: 2013: The Year of the Boob
Conversations about cleavage, side boob, under boob and of course the man boob have now become commonplace around the water cooler. What else would have Katherine from accounting and Richard in sales in deep discussion about the amount of boob that was shown on American idol the night before?
Read More….
Yes, I am aware that the general population’s obsession with boobs, breasts, cans- whatever your particular verbiage preference may be, has probably been around since the beginning of humanity. I’m pretty sure there are scientists all over the world that have uncovered primitive carvings of guys talking about some woman’s rack. However, it seems that in recent months, the mammary glands have taken a more prominent role in the media and society in general.
Everyone is talking about boobs. Conversations about cleavage, side boob, under boob and of course the man boob have now become commonplace around the water cooler. What else would have Katherine from accounting and Richard in sales in deep discussion about the amount of boob that was shown on American idol the night before?
The in depth analysis of people’s chests has jumped the lines between different segments of society, making everyone a critic these days. Below I will take a closer look at a two of the areas where the pontification and analyzation of breasts have been the most prevalent.
Sports
The sports world is certainly no stranger to boob worship. Take this year’s Sports Illustrated cover, which just hit the market a few weeks ago. It features Kate Upton, whom I still don’t understand what all the fuss is about, but that’s another article entirely; in the chilly Artic. She is photographed in a white bikini bottom and a jacket in a similar color with a fuzzy lined hood. The jacket is open and there is no other material present in the shot. Her breasts are either being pushed together by her arms or some other artificial method, tape, perhaps? The reader’s eye has zero choice but to look at the enormous amount of cleavage and straight up boob that is being presented. Not that the bulk of SI readers are complaining, just merely an observation.
Breast love does not discriminate based on gender in the sports realm, either. The amount of images we were subjected to by the four letter network of Tim Tebow with his shirt off this past season was ridiculous. Then of course, there are the countless shots of Bill Belichick, Bill Parcells and other assorted coaches whose former athletic pecs have turned to soft man cans.
Manny Ramirez’s boobs have gotten their share of attention due to the fact that he created them on purpose. Ramirez was suspended from MLB for a whopping 50 games for the use of the female fertility drug HCG. Hey, it’s just Manny being Manny, and getting a pair of man boobs in the process.
The NFL combine always provides its fair share of unnecessary male chest viewing. We get countless shots of these poor 300+ pound offensive linemen in spandex running and performing other various football related drills with their shirts off. Very few people actually want to see that; ever. Unless swinging man boobs appeal to you. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Entertainment
Breast obsession has reared its head into Pop Culture as well. Showing one’s boobs has become so widespread, the Grammy folks had to send out a letter ensuring that breasts are “adequately covered” the night of the event. Some Grammy attendees followed directions while others just couldn’t help themselves.
I’m looking at you Katy Perry. Perry looked amazing in a mint green long Gucci gown complete with a boob window; a very revealing boob window. There is no way that dress fit into the guidelines set forth by the Grammy rule makers.
Another Grammy rebel was former Destiny’s Child member Kelly Rowland. She wore a black gown that had sheer cutouts in very strategic places, revealing major middle and under boob. Rowland did however, look absolutely stunning and has the body to pull off such a revealing dress.
On the Saturday before Oscar night, actress Jennifer Lawrence from the The Hunger Games and Silver Linings Playbook also went the revealing route in her dress choice. Lawrence sported a short, fun black number with a hefty dose of side boob to the Independent Spirit Awards.
Sunday night at the Oscars, host Seth McFarlane opened the show with an entire musical number entitled “We Saw Your Boobs”. Apparently McFarlane was in my head as this article was at least half way done at the time that song was performed. Anne Hathaway’s nipples also made a grand entrance on the red carpet standing at full attention in a pink gown worn obviously with no bra.
This whole breast phenomenon that seems to have taken over society could just be a phase. Perhaps next year the leg, shoulder or even the ankle will become all the rage? My guess is probably not.
However, with the current amount of boob that is shown on television and by celebrities on the red carpet, nothing will be left to the imagination. The exposed surface area of the breast has become so much larger over time that we are basically immune. June Cleaver or Carol Brady would be mortified at what has become the norm for boobage in today’s society.
However, sex sells. Even if it has to be in the form of a video of a shirtless backup quarterback throwing the football on the sidelines whose last name rhymes with Mebow.
On a serious note ladies, don’t forget to do your monthly self-breast exams and get in for those mammograms; we have to save those tatas.
You can follow Jennifer on twitter @themondaymommy.
