To be young and in love with the Colorado Rockies
“The Rockies have looked attractive lately but they are still the same as they were back when they ran aground in May. And you need to remember that when you get your newly sprouted erection for them as this utter failure of a season grinds to a rusty, sparking stop. The fans have gazed upon the Rockies of the last few weeks and said “maybe it wasn’t so bad?” Well, it was that bad, and it’s not going to get any better any time soon.”
The Rockies are like an old girlfriend you broke up with for a bounty of reasons that you can willingly recall in any social setting. But all of those bad feelings you had for your ex seem to be washed away once they walk through the door and you’re a couple of drinks in. Time apart + alcohol = revisionist history. The fans broke up with the Rockies this summer after a spring of expectations fell woefully short. And after the pain of the break up had passed, the Rockies have walked through that door again and those bad times have seemingly been erased by a new found faith in the team, bolstered by a few drinks.
Well, it seems like a lot of you have been drinking because all I’ve seen lately about the Rockies is how everyone has been sucked back in by a few wins and some talented youngsters forced into action by a team decimated by injuries and bad decisions. Like being privy to dozens of drunken, lovelorn texts, Twitter has been abuzz with fans rediscovering their love for the Rockies. But don’t be fooled: that ex you broke up with back in July may look attractive after a cool buzz and some laughs, but when you wake up in the morning, the bad team management and passive aggressive media baiting you remember will be clear as day. Ah, to be young and in love with the Colorado Rockies.
The Rockies have looked attractive lately but they are still the same as they were back when they ran aground in May. And you need to remember that when you get your newly sprouted erection for them as this utter failure of a season grinds to a rusty, sparking stop. The fans have gazed upon the Rockies of the last few weeks and said “maybe it wasn’t so bad?” Well, it was that bad, and it’s not going to get any better any time soon.
Don’t be fooled. The current win streak injected a new vigor into the team and the fans but it’s all muscle memory: You wanted the Rockies to be good and you invested a lot emotionally in them. Your summer was going to directly reflect the great season the Rockies were supposed to have, and when that didn’t happen, you moved on. And now that you’ve moved on, the recent resurgence has clouded your mind into thinking of the good of what could have been while forgetting the bad. Don’t forget that bad. It was really bad.
Far be if for me to dwell on the negative (ha) but it’s important to remember. This was a miserable season even by the Rockies’ standards. And to give Dan O’Dowd and the Monfarts a pass now is just crazy drunk talk. That’s exactly what they want: with the Coors Field pitching argument, coupled with the injuries and now the Dodgers stockpiling talent, a late season resurgence will be just the tonic Rockies management will use to keep things business as usual down at 20th and Blake. Keeping you just interested enough to get you excited all over again next spring.
But don’t do it. This team has some promising young players but if you recall, they’ve always had some promising young players. Nothing will change, including the fans being reeled back in by a false result from a team that couldn’t be bothered to succeed until the last month and a half of the season. Your ex looks good too. He or she looks fit and healthy while you’ve been toiling away all summer looking for love. But it will all end up the same when you walk over and open that old wound. The Rockies want you to walk over too. But have another drink and stare down at the bar while they try to make eye contact. Nothing to see here.
