Sith Lord, Darth Belichick and his apprentice
Hiring Josh McDaniels in time for the playoffs doesn’t run afoul of league rules. But it’s pure evil – which is just like Bill Belichick, the NFL’s Sith Lord.
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“Choosing an apprentice can be a strenuous endeavor. The most important thing to remember is that the apprentice’s purpose is to serve the master.“
-Darth Sidious
Josh McDaniels began his quest to harness the power of the Dark Side in 2001 when the Sith Lord, Darth Belichick chose him as his evil offensive apprentice. The Sith taught the boy to draw upon his rage and to use the force as a weapon in the battle against good.
Together the Sith and McDaniels conquered the NFL universe three times.
Believing his training was complete, against the wishes of his Lord, the Boy McDaniels struck out on his own adventure through the NFL universe. Alone, the boy defeated the Sith Lord Belichick in a single battle on the planet Invesco. The victory was hard-earned, however, and it sapped the boy’s evil. Alas, his grasp of the Dark Side had not been honed.
McDaniels prevailed in few battles from that day forward. His stint the helm of the the Broncos of Invesco ended in disgrace. He was defeated by the Jedi Elway and forced to vacate the planet.
The boy briefly served under the King Spagnuolo of the Saint Louis system but the King was soon removed and McDaniels was, again, alone in the Universe, his power diminished.
Now Josh McDaniels returns to the Boston nebula to serve at the feet of his Dark Lord, Darth Belichick. His training may now be completed.
This time, the boy’s first lesson in ways of the Dark Side is how to hire an offensive apprentice a week after the NFL regular season cycle has been completed. Few in the universe possess the sheer evil powers required to accomplish such a wretched feat. But the Dark Lord Belichick is no ordinary Sith. His is an evil so powerful that only the strongest of the Jedi dare challenge him.
With his apprentice having returned to his side, the Sith seeks to once again control the NFL universe.
Use the force, Tim.
