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Next up for the Broncos: the walking dead

Colin D. | November 12, 2012

Your Denver Broncos have rattled off four wins in a row, having defeated the Chargers, the Saints, the Bengals and the Panthers. Boom, boom, boom, boom boom. Now,  at 6-3 they stand high atop the AFC West and trail only the Ravens and the Texans in the Conference. Their goal now is to displace one of those two teams to seize a Playoff Bye and home field advantage.

But first they need to ice the division. And that starts with jamming a length of rebar into the eyesockets of the San Diego Chargers, the walkiing dead. The Broncos can puncture San Diego’s brain stem and halt it’s directionless wandering on Sunday when the ‘Bolts stumble drooling into Mile High.

Although they’re barely human, the only humane thing to do is put the Chargers down once and for all. To keep them breathing is unfair. And, if they were to come into Denver and somehow bite the Broncos, their purposeless 2012 march would continue. The zombie Norv Turner would cling to hope and Philip Rivers’ limbless torso would keep squirming. However, if the Broncos put them out of their misery by driving a fire axe 3 inched deep into their skulls,  the Chargers will fall to 4-6, buried six feet deep in a hole, staring up at the Broncos at 7-3. Their futile qwest will be over.

One week later the Broncos travel to Kansas City to barbeque the Chiefs. At one an seven, the Chiefs can hardly be considered walkers, but their lifeless, grunting corpses are still pressing against the chain link awaiting a visit from the Bengals, who are likely to remove their limbs and jaws this coming Sunday. By the time the Broncos get there they won’t need a crossbow to eliminate the Chiefs. If they’re smart, though, they’ll leave Romeo Crennell standing.

 

 

 

Written by Colin D.

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