I never really liked sports until I had a religious conversion when the Broncos lost to the 49ers in that one Super Bowl. Now I'm obsessed with all aspects of the Denver pro sports world. Oh yeah, hate college football. And I used to write a column for AV Club Denver but now am a full time contributor to this here site.
"Both fanbases are obnoxious wankers that make ISIS look like a few rowdy lads you could have a beer with."
"The inability to run the ball lets defenses know exactly what you’re going to do next. It’s football 101 and is as obvious as a 6’4” man in a dress with an adam’s apple the size of a kiwi."
John gets salty about trade slights and needs to expose the arrogance of lesser teams and their "demands."
We talk about how to keep players interested even when they're well out of it, and we talk so called medical "experts" on certain fantasy podcasts and what a load of shit they are.
We break down the nice looking games of the week, and who are "stay away" players that are proving us right. And then, what to do with Eric Decker. And then Colin gives some sage advice about the daily games which we redub "weekly games" and your regular leagues should be called "yearly games." But what do we know. Sex Dungeon.
"The Monforts won't sell, but you don't have to buy."
"I get that some family members might come into your orbit with different tastes but these parents did such a poor job raising their kids, they bailed out on the Vikings and became Eagles, Cowboys, Steelers and Bengals fans? This is unacceptable."
"Did you notice the Stephen A. Smith Oberto Beef Jerky ads have started up again? I guess his ridiculous views on women and violence weren't enough to scare off the Oberto people, so one of the most repugnant assholes in sports media is back hawking dried beef."
"Admitting this will not suddenly make me jump up and buy it. Stop admitting it. I liked Domino's better when they just lied to my face. Lie to use Dominos. Lie to us like the consumer zombies you think we are."
"Either way, he's done enough to prompt fans to launch a petition to get him removed from calling the Broncos game. Good luck with that. Controversy sells, and even when it's in the pasty white, gassy-dad package of Phil Simms, people will tune in to hear what he has to say (usually negative) about the Denver Broncos."
"Burger King ads are plentiful on Sunday and while they urge you to get fatter and don’t look back, Subway at least has the class to pretend it’s healthy. And if yoga mat ingredients and rat anus meat don’t convince you, maybe RGIII and Justin Tuck will."
Welker did drugs, but the NFL is a drug dealer, pumping us full of countless beer and Viagra ads every Sunday. Alcohol as a drug is far worse than anything Josh Gordon smoked and if Roger Goodell can deny a battered football player the proven pain relief of some strains of marijuana how can he legitimately rake in cash for drugs that give old men boners?"