"I’m sure Burns was horrified that his opinions could have negatively impacted the foundation he helped set up with the family of his slain friend, but the realization that a sports team’s PR department could sink this low was probably more horrifying to us all."

"BROCK BROCK TILL YOU DROP!  and other Brock related tunes..."

"Duchene may have been the future choice to wear the “C” when he was drafted, but his inconsistent play and trade friendly contract make for delicious possibilities on the open market."

As predicted on last week's fancast, I surmised the Denver Broncos would cruise to an 11-5 record based on the information thrown at me. And then, after thinking about it, I realized that was absurd...

"These Nickelodeon hucksters not only steal the very recognizable “Woo-hoo!” chorus, but the intro guitar riff is not nearly identical, it is identical."

"The Rockies have looked attractive lately but they are still the same as they were back when they ran aground in May. And you need to remember that when you get your newly sprouted erection for them as this utter failure of a season grinds to a rusty, sparking stop. The fans have gazed upon the Rockies of the last few weeks and said “maybe it wasn’t so bad?” Well, it was that bad, and it’s not going to get any better any time soon."

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me again, we don’t get fooled again? Johnson is a specimen but he’s burned me so many times in fantasy seasons, I’ve invested in a 55 gallon drum of aloe vera."

"Could you imagine if the NFL was run this way? Whether a team wins or loses isn’t a factor when a panel of people (or a computer) is weighing the style points of a win or loss. God that’s absurd. Not to mention that the NCAA refuses to allow its subjective top 25 to have a playoff which is outdone in its absurdity by the fact that college football nerds run that debate into the ground every single year."

"When the Steelers play the Broncos for the first game of this glorious upcoming season? You could collect Terrible Towels all night long and not need toilet paper for the rest of the year. And why? Colorado is a great place to live. And while the douche bags in Cubs gear may not admit it, they are here for a reason: where they come from is a crime-ridden, humid mess..."

"Being a very public sports media figure, and apparently a writer, you may want to figure out how to express yourself better. At the next Root Sports staff meeting, ask Joel Klatt if he knows what the hell you’re talking about. He’s going to fake a phone call and head out of the room."