“Paddys” were a drunken nuisance in our nation’s early history which spawned the term “Paddy Wagon” - a police truck loaded with drunk Irish, possibly kin of my colleague from above. When they name a vehicle after its use in rounding up your drunken, stereotypical forbearers, can you possibly see why a real Irish person might take offense when you mistakenly name a holiday after it? 

"Can you imagine if Davis, the all time Denver Bronco great, would have gotten his knee back in order and returned in glorious fashion like Peterson did? This silly debate whether he should be in the Hall of Fame or not would never have become the go-to conversation on Denver talk radio because he’d already be in the Hall had he been allowed to take advantage of modern chemistry."

"It's like walking into Best Buy and loudly rejecting the $800 price tag on a fancy TV. Only to breathlessly race back in a week later, demanding to buy the same TV for $1200. The Avs look like clowns and Calgary inadvertently gave them a rainbow wig by simply trying to acquire a good player through the proper channels."

"So you can point to the Rockies and the team’s ongoing ineptitude, but it’s really the Avs who are the embarrassment here. Like a star high school athlete gone to seed, the Avs once attainted greatness, only to hit the skids so hard Lindsay Lohan said “damn”."

"To deny them is not only baffling, but counterintuitive to increasing your brand. Mile High Hockey, the fine Avs blog is an SB Nation site but still doesn't have access. SB Nation, also home to Denver Stiffs, is a major media source at this point, so the Avs decision to not include a blog like this now seems spiteful rather than pragmatic."

"And despite his financial drain on the team, I’ve always felt it was necessary to keep him around for the same reasons the team did. But did Helton blow the Monforts grand plan when he blew into that breathalyzer?"

"Baltimore should just be renamed Butt-Hole-More because no amount of Old Bay can add enough flavor to make this nasty morsel of a city go down easy. San Francisco wins this one in a landslide."

"We generally find the braying antics of over-religious people to be tiresome, obnoxious and best kept the confines of churches. But when a black guy does it? It’s "just what they do" and in the minds of most Rush Limbaugh listeners, if the black guys are praising Jesus, they won’t be stealing car stereos and raping white women."

"After the initial frenzy of the goal being scored, and his name is announced over the PA, everyone can sing along to “Oh, oh, oh O’Reilly!” and we’ll all feel great while being reminded of high quality auto parts and car wax."

All you hard-cores probably already know about this, but the Avs are hosting an open house at the Can this evening which is really just a way to get you to buy season tickets. But like going to a real estate open house, maybe you can mill around and eat some free food while soaking up the ambience of what will be a glorious return to hockey when they hit the ice back in Denver on January 22nd, against the Kings. 

Here's the link for more info.