Suicide is never really funny.
One could argue that Hitler’s suicide as U.S. troops closed in on Berlin was pretty awesome, but in most cases it should be left alone. 92.5 The Wolf apparently thought it was a perfect topic to use to bolster its ratings last Thursday when they hosted a segment featuring a psychic who claimed to be able to contact deceased Broncos wide receiver Kenny McKinley. You heard me right: the horrific, Nü country station had a psychic come in and channel a man who took his own life for what amounted to a great moment of drive time history.
The incomparable duo of Mudflap and Johnathan (the shithead, morning show DJ names should be enough to hate them) played the straight men as their resident psychic Karen Storsteen pretended like she was contacting the dead. Storsteen’s website claims that she’s also a life coach and available for corporate seminars and business consulting. With that resume you’d think Donald Trump would have her on the payroll picking stocks instead of connecting with a lesser known player like McKinley. But no, she claimed to have a psychic connection with him - asking him questions like he was standing just outside the room.
I listened to the segment after being tipped off on Twitter about it. Normally I would never subject myself to the radio stylings of someone named “Mudflap” nor would I have the stomach to listen to the horrid Nü Country the station plays. But I turned on the Wolf just as a hackneyed pop-country song was finishing up and almost bailed out because truly, out of all the music out there, this brand of country is some of the most ear-rapingly bad music ever created. It’s corny pop delivered with a southern accent and a little slide guitar thrown in so you can immediately recognize it as the country genre. But despite the flag waving and stereotypical topics crammed into each three minute fart, the transparent gimmick of this kind of music is undeniably laughable. Just like Karen the psychic.
After it was all over, this is what some jackoff at the station had to say via Twitter: “we apologize if we offended anyone with Karen the psychic's reading of Kenny McKinley-it seemed respectful and honest.”
Respectful and honest huh? Psychics are bullshit for one. So having someone pretend to be in contact with the dead is insulting right there. And the insight Karen offered wasn’t anything someone familiar with the situation couldn’t have come up with. “He’s sorry for what he did and is ashamed he let his parents down.” Oh no shit? I would have guessed he was thrilled with his decision to take his own life and would have told his parents to fuck off if he had another chance to speak to them. Then she offered this gem: “He’s in a better place.” Wow. Deep psychic analysis by Karen. Wouldn’t it have made for better ratings if he said he was in a worse place and that Satan was sticking a pitchfork up his ass? Or would that have gone too far for a station called The Wolf? Better play that Kenny Chesney song about young boys before anyone tunes out!
It was interesting to hear this clairvoyant hack at work because while her psychic revelations could have been accomplished by a sea sponge, I did hear a point where Karen set herself up with an odd aside from McKinley (she would say ‘hold on’ like she was hearing him on a bad cell phone) that she followed up later with something the two fools sitting across from her gobbled up, making her look like Nostrodamus. It was classic psychic bait and switch that I’m sure the dullards listening loved. I don’t think Johnathan and Mudflap believe Karen is the real deal – they know it’s just a bit – but what they do believe is that their audience is a bunch of morons who eat this shit up.
They followed up the first tweet with this: “We knew not EVERYONE was going to approve-but felt she was tuned into him. We focused Wed. show on suicide prevention to educate the public.”
Wow. She was tuned into him huh? If you believe that, you need to be ground up for glue. Saying this basically means the people at the Wolf are either lying or they’re just as fucking stupid as their listeners. Which is it Mudflap? Are you just an idiot who would believe an obviously very bad psychic, or did you know full well that she’s a fraud and were cashing in on someone’s tragic death? It’s one or the other, so stand up and be a man and admit it. I’m pretty sure Mudflap is a man, but his lady hair makes me wonder.
Johnathan and Mudflap didn’t question anything Karen the psychic said. Not surprising since the station plays nothing but overly sentimental and sappy country that makes its living on not questioning anything as long as it’s wrapped in an American flag, being carried by a gas guzzling pick up truck that’s driven by homophobic white dudes who are too ashamed (or too stupid) to admit they’re gay. Looking at you and your lady hair Mudflap.
I’m just as shocked as you are that Jonathan and Mudflap didn’t put the screws to Karen the psychic when they had the chance. A few simple questions would have solved whether she was actually talking to Kenny McKinley. McKinley was a star college wide receiver so any question about what school records he held would have determined this. Actually, just asking Karen what college he went to would have resolved a lot of issues. But as Mudflap was queuing up the next Kenny Chesney crap fest and Johnathan was busying himself pandering to his asshole listeners, no one thought to ask if this fake was really talking to a dead person.
You can go ahead and call Kenny McKinley a coward for leaving behind a young son. I won’t argue with you on that. You can take up countless segments on talk radio speaking about depression, suicide and rehashing what went so wrong with McKinley that he’d do such a thing. But don’t, in between songs by Keith Urban and his lady hair, dishonor someone’s memory and family by pretending to speak to him from beyond the grave. Even for a crappy pop-country radio station featuring a guy named Mudflap, it’s surprisingly low.