It was a thrill to finally interview the NBA Mistress!
I am not the first Twitter user to ask himself the question: "who the fuck is this chick?" In fact, I am willing to bet that dozens of people who use the social network for sports ask it every day.
The Mistress is a Twitter anomaly.
She's crude - she's sexy and she's slanderous - and she knows a ton about basketball. She studies the Nuggets lineup like the back her own hand and can name 12 players on every NBA team. the Mistress is a student of NBA history and a slanderer.
The trick to interacting with the Mistress on Twitter is to sift through her snarkiness and find the fan beneath. If you take the things she types too literally you'll lose interest fast.
As I learned when interviewed her by telephone this evening, she puts on a tough fascade for self defense. Deep down, she's a shy mother of four from Indiana living in the suburbs of Denver.
I have followed the Mistress, blocked her, followed her again, been unfollowed by her, had her follow me again, unfollow me and then follow me. This woman and I have been round and round. We just can't seem to get enough of antagonizing one another.
She and I have had our most difficulty seeing eye-to-eye on Nuggets coach George Karl, who I have been openly critical of at times. Her responses to Karl bashers are harsh - harsh enough that I have more than once had my fill of her firm objections. This all came to a head several months ago - and we both decided that our social media lives were more comfortable without one another.
The problem became that I missed having her tweets on my timeline.
As obnoxious as the Mistress can be, I enjoy her and her NBA Blog, NBAMistress.com. Despite her sometimes callus demeanor, the woman is an absolute fountain of NBA news and gossip. I often reference her site in preparing posts for this one. There's no faster, easier way for me to find basketball dirt. I needed to win her back.
In order to break our Twitter "beef" I launched "#projectkissass" a couple of months ago. Using that hash-tag I pelted the Mistress compliment after compliment until I finally got her to follow me again. After emasculating myself for weeks I even got the Mistress to check out an episode of the South Stands Denver Fancast. That was really my goal all along. I am angling to get her in as a guest.
Several local radio personalities have attempted to get her on their shows, too. She's never done a single one. Her site and her Twitter accounts are her outlets. Those are the places where she is comfortable talking NBA.
After several months of jostling with the NBA Mistress I finally got a chance to talk to her on the telephone tonight. I "interviewed" her for about 15 minutes and we talked for like forty.
Why do you call yourself the NBA Mistress?
A group of friends in the world of NBA blogging helped me come up with it. They felt I needed something sexy and provocative. You've seen my slogan? "Where I cheat on him with the NBA".
You're married, right? Couple of kids?
Married. Four kids. (laughs).
You're a stay at home Mom?
Yeah. That's why I am blogging. They're finally all in school.
Are you from Colorado?
(laughs) I moved here from Indiana in 2004. I grew up there.
Are you a Nuggets fan?
I'm a fan of basketball, the NBA and the Nuggets - in that order. I love to watch pickup games. Watch 'em and shit talk.
Why did you start a blog?
When I first started I read a lot of blogs. Most were the same kind of thing - game recaps and all that. I love fiestiness and to be informed. Have a personality, give me your opinion - not stats.
Do you find it empowering?
Athletes read the shit I say! It's nice. I like the way I am free. You don't get that with the corporate blogs. I'm like, "yeah, but can I say "fuck"? There are thousands of them and they all are all the same. None of them actually have a voice.
How would you change the Nuggets?
(laughs loudly) make them healthy!? Be honest. It's the Denver Nuggets. The playoffs were meant for superstars. When Ty realizes how good he can be, who knows? He's your 1-A guy. It may never click, who knows? But, if it does, Denver could be a contending team. Right now they are not one. But anything can happen in the playoffs.
Why have you not gone on local radio?
I'm self conscious about my voice. I don't know. I'm not arrogant. I'm not cocky. Besides, none of them are talking about the Nuggets anyway. I'm just not comfortable with it. Denver's not a basketball town. I do podcasts in places like New York and Miami. Far from here.
Who will win the NBA title?
Seriously? That's your question? Do you know how many times I have been asked that? That's your brilliant fucking question? The Bobcats! Charlotte is going to win the title. That's not a real question, is it?. Heat, OKC, Spurs. One of those. The Bulls won't do shit.
What gave you the idea to do your historic player profiles?
One of the best things was that when I was a kid my dad taught me about basketball by showing me grainy videos from that great Celtics run. I'm a bit of a historian. I posted a ton of quizzes during the NBA lockout. Fans really like that. A lot of NBA fans on Twitter are young. They'll ask me to do a post on Michael Jordan and I am like "why would I write about Michael Jordan? Just go to YouTube.". Then I am like, oh shit, that kid probably wasn't born yet when Michael was great.
Are basketball players your heroes?
They are more like somebody I would fuck. They are hot, black men. It's a cultural thing. It's skin, it's tats. I don't admire them. I do not look up to basketball players. No. (laughs hysterically)
Who is your hero?
My deceased father.
How long ago did you lose him?
10 years ago this summer. My oldest son was six weeks old when he died.
Why are you so active on Twitter?
You never know who's going to click that link. You never know who's following you. I get the emails but I just throw them away. I don't want to know when I get new followers. I don't care. Twitter is a community. It's what I do. I'm a bitch. And I name drop a lot. The thing I have going for me is speed. I get a ton of stuff out there first because I am constantly doing research.
What percentage of your posts are Nuggets posts?
25% Nuggets. Far less than 20% of my readers are in Denver, though. It's a National blog.
What has blogging done for you?
It's a release. I compare it to sex. You just feel good. You feel good about it. When someone reads your shit and compliments you on it - someone like Scott Hastings - I did this Pistons piece and he read it and liked it. I did this one on Stephan Marbury and he DM'd to say it was really good.
Do you ever wake up and feel like you have to do it?
It's just a routine for me now, but I haven't been doing it for that long.
You seem insecure.
It takes me a while.
Who's the best NBA player of all time?
At what? That's another shitty question (laughs). I can't name one guy. They all do different shit. Dennis Rodman. I loved to watch that guy play. Yeah, he was a freak show, but when it was all workin' he was magic on the court. Magic.
Who's your favorite female NBA blogger?
Stackmack. Holly MacKenzie who writes for Bleacher report. Not that there's a lot of choices.